Crash Test Dummy (Literally) >> Audio ;

[justamobster]

[ The post goes up on the network a few minutes after touchdown planetside. The speaker is quite obviously trying to catch his breath, and there’s an undercurrent of laughter in his voice— sharp with both disbelieving amusement and a bit of panic. ]

The er, emergency landin’ system on the ships, yeah? That?

S’workin’. Just thought folks’d wanna know.

[ GUESS WHO ALMOST JUST DIED? This guy!

For context and any in-person concerns, see Prompt #1 here! ]

Comments

[justamobster]

Worst? M'I beatin' out the one-two-ten trick, or did your li'l brother never pull that on you?

[ Because Conrit was notorious for that. ]

[mikoshi]

Sure thing. Lookin' forward to it.

[ That's fair. Vincent doesn't trust anyone but Delamain to drive him around. The AI earned it though. Jury's out on these little shits. Doesn't like how hard they try at being cute, unassuming. It might work with teenaged girls, but it won't work on him.

Unless one took up the form of Nibbles, his Sphynx cat. Then maybe... ]

Yeah, if you want to give yourself brain damage. [ Hypoxia's a bitch — he'd know, thanks to Johnny. ] Not good for your body to keep takin' that kind of shock either. [ Eyebrows raised. Take the hint — ask for help. From someone. Anyone. ]

[justamobster]

M'tougher than I look. [ Yeah, he's got some brass for saying that after being carried to the shade by a stranger, but it's honest. He's used to being underestimated thanks to this scrawny, soft human body. Sometimes it works to his advantage. But in all honesty, he's already starting to go over what happened, and what he can do better next time.

It's going to actively take willpower he might not have to keep from hopping back in the pilot seat and making another go of it as soon as his ship's dug out. But he's keeping that much to himself. ] But, yeah, sure. I'll find someone to gimme the what's what.

[ Maybe. ]

[imhilarious]

'course he pulled that, he's a smartass. That just means when I'm fixin' his dislocated shoulder, I do the same thing to him.

[ With a side of telling him an extremely stupid joke to distract him. But that's the big brother special. ]

You wanna put my bedside manner to the test? Huh?

[justamobster]

[ Oh but he doesn't like the idea of having to put Conrit's shoulder back in place. Or a wing-- those are worse. He's again thankful the kid isn't here, though it's unlikely he would have taken this kind of a risk with his little brother around to protect.

Either way, he doesn't have his cousin here to rile up by being a terrible patient, so alas, he's just going to sass anyone else who tries to take care of him instead. ]

Sure, doc. Tell me what's wrong with me. I'll take it alphabetical, yeah?

[imhilarious]

Yeah, sure. A, you're an asshole. B, you're a bein' kind of a bitch about this. C is for... crap, which you're full of. In my professional opinion. Obviously.

[ Today we prove to the world why Dean did not get assigned to Medical when he got to this ship despite having some relevant experience. ]

But hey, if you cracked somethin' open and end up D for dead because of it, don't say I didn't tell you so.

[ Despite it all....... we have fun. We stay a little bit silly. ]

[justamobster]

M'I payin' for this consult, 'cuz you ain't tellin' me nothin' I don't already know. [ And because he's an asshole who doesn't listen, there's enough background noise coming through the device to give away that he's up and moving around again. So much for sitting still. ]

[imhilarious]

[ Hello? HELLO????? ]

I should be chargin' you! Do you not know how to sit your ass down?

[justamobster]

Keep your shirt on, yeah? Just findin' somethin' t'do while I'm sittin'. [ And he's rifling through a few things. ] Ain't good with idle hands.

[mikoshi]

And I'm a brain and spinal cord inside a metal frame, wrapped in synthetic fibers. [ Said matter-of-factly, because it is. ] Means dick. Ain't 'bout endurance, just physics.

'Least go through some sims or somethin'.

[justamobster]

Are you? [ That doesn't sound like sarcasm, so color him intrigued. His eyes flick over V, as if seeing him again for the first time. ] Huh. Don't look much like a tin can, yeah?

[mikoshi]

[ Doesn't answer that with words. Instead, Vincent extends out his right arm, the sound of hydraulics and steam going off as the arm comes apart for a couple of seconds. ] 'Cause I've paid top eddies not to look like a 'borged freak. Bad for business in my line of work. [ Infiltration and assassination aren't very stealthy when someone sees the likes of Adam Smasher dropping in. Then there's the psychological benefits of looking human after all. ]

[justamobster]

[ Ladon visibly tenses, the result of years of having to keep his wits about him in violent circumstances, but he's also very much impressed and intrigued. Gear like that could give Frid and Lorne a run for their money, even fully wolved out.

He's definitely not the only one keeping things hidden, but in ways he's jealous-- whether on purpose or accidental, the Edicts that brought them here have kept him both stuck in this human body and have taken his lightning away. Seeing someone else with a means to both defend themselves and keep it hidden sticks in his craw. He's going to need to have a talk with whomever is in charge, and it's not going to be a pleasant one. ]

Eddies, huh. Heard that from 'nother fella here. S'impressive, regardless. You're the real deal.

[imhilarious]

Oh, sorry, don't let me interrupt rubik's cube time with my bullcrap about your little crash landing. Barely even a crash, right, what's to get worked up about?

[ Dean "flagrant hypocrite" Winchester. Dean "would be doing the exact same thing and being exactly as difficult if the situation were reversed, but obviously That's Different because reasons" Winchester. ]

[justamobster]

Now you're on the trolley. [ Don't mind him, just checking to see if something he packed survived the crash landing.

There's the sound of a couple heavy glass bottles dinging against each other. ] Hot socks, they're still in one piece.

[mikoshi]

[ Be a lot more impressive if Vincent had access to all the enhanced abilities all this chrome is supposed to provide. As it stands, he's nothing but a skeleton in (nearly) indestructible wrapping. Which is nice, yeah, but stings in comparison to what it could do not that long ago.

But if they took his chrome away, he'd be, what, a quadruple amputee? No, even worse than that — he'd be dead. Most of his original body no longer exists, the earliest being both of his arms back when he was a teen. ]

Johnny, I'm guessin'. But it ain't. Trust me, it ain't.

[imhilarious]

'Hot socks'? [ Concern: on hold. Interest in sounds of bottles: also on hold. ] Dude. C'mon. That's lame.

[ Says man who has zero room to judge whatsoever. ]

[justamobster]

[ Dean, if you can't love him at his "hot socks," you don't deserve him at his "let's dust." ]

Says you. You ain't the one holdin' two perfectly whole bottles of single malt.

[justamobster]

Yeah? They take you down a few pegs when you turned up here?

[ It's still impressive. Ladon cracks his own knuckles, missing his claws a little more than usual. The harder outer layer would be nice to have in this kind of climate, instead of these squishy hands. ]

[imhilarious]

[ So true. Dean makes a Very Serious sound of consideration. ]

Opinion could change if you're sharin'.

[mikoshi]

More than just a peg — they're just prostheses now. [ Which is, again, fine. But the lack of noise, the electronic feedback of beeps and hums... disquieting.

Hears his heartbeat, blood rushing to his ears, but little else. Isn't sure what to think of it, a hyper-awareness of missing natural sounds other people still have. ] Still, glad I got to keep 'em, at least. Wouldn't be walking, or talking — breathing — if didn't.

[justamobster]

Hard to be a fuckin' space errand boy without breathin'. [ He grumbles. ] You ain't alone. My piece ain't the only thing they took. But from what I heard, we got ways to earn it back.

Helluva racket they got goin'. [ There's a combination of sarcasm and respect there. Business isn't anything if not manipulation in one way or another. ]

[mikoshi]

Might make a neat party trick though — peeps piss me off enough, might peel off my face and show off the chrome underneath. [ He smiles, a bit manic. ]

Racket's a good term for it. While I'm thankful they brought me Johnny, not sure I'm lookin' forward to babysittin'.

[justamobster]

[ That gets him to snort. ] Spare parts'd be good for sendin' a message. Some unlucky fucker finds a finger or two in his mailbox, is checkin' the hands of everyone he knows.

[ He shakes his head. ] Yeah, not gonna promise I ain't gonna cause more trouble. You and Johnny're from the same place, I'm guessin'. [ Must be the other guy he had a good conversation with over the network before they came to this planet. ]

[justamobster]

Yeah yeah. Drinks're on me once I get my ship outta the sand.