Crash Test Dummy (Literally) >> Audio ;

[justamobster]

[ The post goes up on the network a few minutes after touchdown planetside. The speaker is quite obviously trying to catch his breath, and there’s an undercurrent of laughter in his voice— sharp with both disbelieving amusement and a bit of panic. ]

The er, emergency landin’ system on the ships, yeah? That?

S’workin’. Just thought folks’d wanna know.

[ GUESS WHO ALMOST JUST DIED? This guy!

For context and any in-person concerns, see Prompt #1 here! ]

Comments

Text | UN: SHINIGAMI

[mikoshi]

Thanks. Don't have to run those tests now.

Audio;

[justamobster]

No sweat. Glad it ain't a trip for biscuits. [ Totally not still sounding like he might pass out. Nope. Walk it off, Ceto. ]

Tough fuckin' machines. Don't think she's even got a dent.

[ It sounds like he's patting the side of the ship. And then something clatters and obviously falls off. ] Er, one dent.

[mikoshi]

[ Has no idea what the fuck that means, but he can sorta guess the gist of it. ] Do you need driving lessons? [ Looks like some sort of panel, a cover. To what, who knows. ]

[justamobster]

Yeah, maybe. Practice, at least. Never gone so---

[ What was he talking about again? The adrenaline's starting to wear off. ]

... Later. When it ain't feelin' like my stomach's where my lungs should be.

[mikoshi]

Sit down. Breathe. First Gs are the worst.

[justamobster]

Ain't G, s'nothin' Garevian about...

[ Aaaand whump. That'll be the sound of him going over. ]

Text > Action?

[mikoshi]

Fuck.

[ Where the hell could this guy be? "Hey, I got a greenhorn who experienced his first landing," won't mean shit to the people here.

Luckily the camp isn't too big. But Vincent doesn't know what this guy looks like, only what he sounds like — like an old timey detective in those noir books Johnny loves so much. ] Swear to God you better not be chokin' in your own vomit...

Action!

[justamobster]

[ Fortunately, there is one decent-sized landmark indicating his whereabouts: an Iron Horizon ass-up in a dune. And as predicted, a panel has fallen off one side, sitting in the sand and looking dented. That's probably not the extent of its damages, but at least it's not on fire.

There is an overdressed mobster lying on the sand nearby, sprawled out like a passed-out drunkard, his device playing any text-based messages out loud in its robotic voice. ]

[mikoshi]

[ Yeah, there's no way in hell Vincent can right that ship with his chrome soft-locked. Couldn't move it even if it wasn't — fucker's too heavy and sand has an insane weight and grip of its own.

Not like it matters. Ships can be rebuilt. People? Not so much.

(Well, unless...) ] Can't let you cook out here. [ Luckily, Vincent can still pick people up, and Ladon isn't too heavy. Being carried like a bride might look silly to others, but fuck it, better to look the fool and avoid heat stroke. Solving that will be worse for their supplies than digging a ship out of the sand.

Better take him into the shade. Might be five minutes, might be five hours before he wakes up. G-force is no joke. ]

audio;

[imhilarious]

What the hell, Speakeasy? [ That's Ladon's callsign because: Dean decided it. ] You think I invested in all that conversation just for you to get pancaked on the first mission? C'mon.

[ Nah thanks for testing the emergency landing system though, love being able to emergency land. That's probably like objectively good to know. ]

You good?

audio forever;

[justamobster]

'Lo, Cable Knit. [ He has no idea what a speakeasy is-- no prohibition in Nieve-- but he can recognize a nickname when he hears one. He'll have to ask for an explanation when he's not busy keeping his breakfast down. ]

Swell. Right as rain. Just gotta get the world to stop movin' under me.

[imhilarious]

[ Man. It's actually fun having a lil nickname. Even one like Cable Knit.

Dean will trust, for now, that Ladon would probably mention if he was like, dying or bleeding. Seems like a guy who'd shoot straight. ]

I got great news for you, dude: hardest part's already over. Now all you gotta do is get on board for crash number two. [ A normal life experience. Good ol' adrenaline. ] Sit down, stay down, start countin' out breaths. Doctor's orders.

[justamobster]

[ Grunt. Yes, Ladon's got his share of machismo thanks to the culture(s) he comes from, but he understands when others are giving good advice.

There's a groan as he finds somewhere to sit. And a few coughs that border on gags. He's glad he's on audio only because there is a plume of smoke pouring out of him as his nervous furnace kicks in big time. Thus why he's so pissed he doesn't have a cigarette on hand to blame it on. ]

How many times've you done this? Pretty sure we ain't got anythin'-- and I mean anythin' back home that goes that fast, yeah? Even top-of-the-line hayburners.

[imhilarious]

I mean, the spaceships are new. But me and near-death experiences go-- [ He huffs, laughs a little ] Well, we go way back. They're pretty much all the same at the end of the day, right?

[ Could have died (maybe did die for a while), now you're here. Tale as old as time. ]

[justamobster]

[ He laughs, which leads to coughing, which leads to a grumble. ] Mmmph, okay, yeah. Take this over holdin' my insides in with one arm.

[imhilarious]

Yeah, never seen that work out for anyone.

[ Local man trying and failing not to be concerned about all the coughing. The ship, he must assume, is not on fire. ]

Deep breath, hold it for a ten-count. Let's hear it.

[justamobster]

[ Other local man does not do well with being fussed over. He's the fusser, not the fuss-ee. ] M'fine, yeah? Just catchin' up with myself.

text | un: pink.cloud

[nterwebz]

u DIDNT

audio;

[justamobster]

[ "From user: pink dot cloud. Ooo did int" ]

Er? Come again?

[ Yes, Ladon uses the device's text-to-speech to read to him. ]

[nterwebz]

u DONT

[ Use text-to-speech like an old fogey. Say it ain't so, Ladon! ]

[justamobster]

I don't what? Didn't hit my head that hard...

[ He can't read Nao :( :( :( ]

text -> audio

[nterwebz]

[ Hmmm. Something may be amiss. She doesn't know Ladon particularly well, but he doesn't strike her as the type who'd mess with her about her texting. She taps her cheek idly for a moment as she contemplates the situation, then sighs dramatically and toggles to audio.

The deep breath she takes is audible. ]

You didn't take first crashland day one of our off-the-ship adventures!! [ He did, but he's alive, so. ]

[justamobster]

[ That gets him to perk up. ]

Oh hey, Miss Fizz! How're you doin', kiddo? Sorry. Scratch it off the list. M'a show-off, yeah?

[nterwebz]

That's what it's called when somebody survives that kind of thing, yeah.

[ Speaking from experience? It's a mystery. That he nicknamed her, though, is noted. Now he really is stuck with her. Poor Ladon. ]

How many mother hens are we lookin' at? I'm guessing you've got something of a tally.

[ ... ]

And I'm not a kid. [ The braid flip might as well be audible. ]

[justamobster]

Sure you ain't.

[ Everyone is a kid to him, Nao. Sorry. ] Got a few checkin' in on me. Can't blame folks, yeah? Not everyone's comin' from a place fulla hullabaloo.