Crash Test Dummy (Literally) >> Audio ;

[justamobster]

[ The post goes up on the network a few minutes after touchdown planetside. The speaker is quite obviously trying to catch his breath, and there’s an undercurrent of laughter in his voice— sharp with both disbelieving amusement and a bit of panic. ]

The er, emergency landin’ system on the ships, yeah? That?

S’workin’. Just thought folks’d wanna know.

[ GUESS WHO ALMOST JUST DIED? This guy!

For context and any in-person concerns, see Prompt #1 here! ]

Comments

[justamobster]

Only profitable if I get good 'nough to give 'em the skipout. Bet I could fence 'em for heavy sugar on the next civilized planet. [ Is Ladon going to start stealing spaceships? Maybe. Either way, he's perpetually scheming. ]

[nterwebz]

Are we talkin' space piracy? Er, I guess ship piracy since space pirates is its own thing. Man, to be a space pirate...

[justamobster]

Don'tcha need a boat to be a pirate? [ He's fairly certain Joe's pirate king career ended when the city states fortified their naval power. He's certainly still the most powerful criminal mastermind in Nieve, but pirates are kind of old hat... ]

[nterwebz]

What's another word for "boat"? [ Go on. She'll wait. ]

[justamobster]

... Dingy.

[nterwebz]

[ ... ]

I'm leaving you on read.

1/3

[justamobster]

Canoe? Er, s'a 'nother boat…? Tugboat? Trawler?

2/4 I lied

[justamobster]

Skiff.

...

Wait...

3/4

[justamobster]

[ Buffering... ]

[justamobster]

Wow.

I'm a fuckin' idiot.

[nterwebz]

In this instance, I'll concede.

"Ship," the answer we're looking for is "ship".

[ She's going to give him a minute to let all of this sink in. ]

[justamobster]

[ Grumble ] I know I know I know. Fuuuuck.

Maybe I did hit my head. [ Narrator: he had not hit his head. He was just a moron. ]

[nterwebz]

Anyway, space pirates. They're a thing. There's a whole intergalactic alliance spanning a ton of planets and peoples that we're nowhere near, I think.

[ Someone's been a very, very busy young lady. ]

I doubt we're gonna run into space pirates out here, though. Any successful pirate doesn't stray too far from where there's business.

[ She may sound a little... disappointed maybe. (What?) ]

[justamobster]

Yeah? Guessin' that means they got space banks? Space museums? Space jewelry stores?

[ No, he's totally not making a mental space heist list. Definitely not. ]

[nterwebz]

[ Uh huh. Sure he's not. And she's not positioning herself to broker information for a new client in exchange for favors, pay, etc. No, siree! ]

By space "this," you mean planetary or on a universal scale? Because yes, basically "yes" depending on where you are. That's the thing about your various organizations, governments, and alliances, yeah?

[ She should be petting a catform Host right now probably, but then, they wouldn't be having this conversation. All Ladon'd hear is her talking to the kitty. ]

[justamobster]

Hmm, already got a potential driver... [ Yes. He's scheming. He has a feeling since G-Force and Seventy-Seven are buds-- well, more than that, but he's not going to pry any further after having a raunchy thread read aloud by accident and nearly smoking out his room-- they might be both game. He might have to feel out Cable Knit and see...

Miss Fizz seems to know her stuff, but she's young. He's not so sure about involving her, especially given past failures. ]

Nothin' in the area we're in though, yeah? Got time to plan.

[nterwebz]

Look at you, talking about planning already. Ambitious much?

[justamobster]

One thing you gotta know 'bout me, doll. If there's a profitable angle, I'm gonna find it.

[nterwebz]

As long as you mind your cardinals.

[justamobster]

Always do.